I’ve been utterly crushed with work lately, which is both good and bad — I should be able to get caught up on some bills but at the same time, coding and design work sap all my creative brain energy and the last thing I want to do is sit at my computer a few more hours. So Mythodrome has been lagging a bit.
This is actually a deeply frustrating cycle I desperately want to break out of. I know that in many ways I am fortunate — I am self-employed, I work at home, set my own hours, sleep when I want, work when I want, and do work I actually like for the most part — but even still, the things I love most get relegated to the periphery while I stare at my computer screen, day in and day out, trying to forge CSS and Javascript weapons with which to beat Internet Explorer into compliance. In the meantime I have two lengthy articles I want to finish, a really fun drawing that’s going to take me a year to finish at the rate I’m going, and a gorgeous, sweet dog who’s depressed because we haven’t been to the dog park in weeks. Plus my semi-squat needs a lot of cleaning and some minor repairs that I don’t have time or energy to do.
I’m getting closer and closer to complete drop-out mode just simply because I can’t stand it. When I look over the last couple of years I realize that the things others consider truly tragic have been actually the things that make me feel better. For example, I spent about two months in 2009 living in a van. I was genuinely all right in that van! The way-back seat was motorized so at the press of a button, it would bzzzzz down into a bed, and a super comfy bed at that. I slept in a state park and showered there, and did my cooking over a fire. I had my clothes, my sketchbooks, and a few things I needed. It was solitary, comfortable, and peaceful.
My semi-squat is another supposed tragedy — on my god, Paula’s living in an abandoned duplex in the ghetto. The other half has been gutted and is completely trashed, totally uninhabitable. Well no, it’s not abandoned, I’m here. I’ve paid upwards of $700 a month for apartments that were not as habitable as is this one. For the first several months I was here, I hated it. All I wanted was to make enough money to get a “real” apartment. It slowly dawned on me that leaving this place to pay several hundred dollars a month for less space and more rules would be insane. I took stock of what I’ve got here and holy shit, this place is a gift from the gods. I keep expecting the man to come in here and harsh my mellow but I don’t even know if that will ever happen. There are houses on this street that have been abandoned for years and no sherriff’s sale, no foreclosure, no nothing. As far as the market is concerned, this place is quite literally worthless. It is not even worth the money it would cost to conduct a sherriff’s sale or a foreclosure.
Here’s another supposed tragedy — my bed. I have a really nice queen-sized mission-style platform bed with an expensive futon mattress in storage. I have not brought it here in the event I have to pack up on short notice, and I haven’t wanted to risk losing it. So I got an air mattress. A nice one, but it’s an air mattress. What a sad state of affairs. Well, no — actually my air mattress is quite literally the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on in my whole life. I sleep like a baby, wake up with no aches and pains. If I had to replace my whole bed setup on short notice, pillows and everything, I could do it for less than $120. And that’s buying everything brand new.
And woe unto Paula, for her house has no heat! Pittsburgh winter with no heat! I have two space heaters and that’s it. There’s been times when Zeke and I could see our breath in here, but the two space heaters keep my work corner plenty warm. The kitchen is cold, the bathroom is cold, but I’ve gotten used to it. And in fact, when I go to other peoples’ houses I’m sweltering. It seems crazy to me to keep every last inch of every single room perfectly toasty day and night. My electric bill for the whole winter so far is about $450 — less than a single month’s electric heat for most standard sized houses.
For a while last summer, I was working 20 hours per week and making a grand total of $900 – $1000 per month. Money was really fucking tight, to the point that I was going hungry sometimes, but I had free time. I miss that terribly.
So I guess in writing all this out, it helps me see that I have some further downsizing to do if I want to be able to pursue the things that really interest me. I’ll have to get out my calculator and do some planning. With no rent, $1000 per month should theoretically be a breeze.
I’ll keep track of my downsizing project here for you guys. And thank you for indulging me this rant.
So, like how does it work with the electric company? They don’t care? Just curious thanks.
Ted — when I first got here, the electricity was still in the previous tenant’s name, which was part of the deal we worked out. After a while I switched it over to my name and had no problem at all. The electric company doesn’t seem to care.
The water company does however. My water/sewer is still in the previous tenant’s name, and I can’t get it switched because I need to prove I’m supposed to be here with a signed lease. So the previous tenant lets me keep it in his name, with the understanding that I don’t mess up his credit. Which is not a problem — water for me is only like $20-$30/mo.
That’s pretty cool, thanks.
I am thinking you must be in more of a hunter gatherer mindest. Like for example how the hunters used to see game as presenting themselves to the hunter as a gift.
I was thinking I kind of went on a walk about a couple years ago, but I couldn’t just indescriminately hunt game, but the universe found ways to provide for my modest needs anyway.
The middle class script seems to be based on thinking far ahead and seeing any potential threat to long term security as a serious crisis. But in reality, some deer always seems to show up at the last minute.
Ever feel like Tyler Durden?
Thanks, Paula, for sharing. I think that for change to happen, many, many folks need to ‘see’ a PICTURE of alternative ways to live…. that are actually happening right now. And your account really makes one ‘picture’ real…one that is usually invisible below the radar. If we don’t know that we have options, then ‘TINA’ (M. Thatcher’s oft-repeated lie ‘there is no alternative’) does rules :)
It’s apparently a pr/adv’g axiom that the desired ‘change’ – i.e., sales, popular ‘support’, etc. – happens most effectively when the ‘picture’ that people ‘see’ (and/or ‘imagine’) changes. Hence the emotional impact of the imagined ‘death tax’, or the opposite ‘Paris Hilton tax’; and the Kuwaiti babies thrown out of incubators, etc.
I’m new here, via Ran Prieur, and am on to read the rest ;)
Btw, can you feel the good vibes coming at you? ;)
(Question, it appears the electricity has not been cut off… I wonder if that’s common in ‘abandoned’ houses.)
Thanks,
o Nancy
Hi Nancy, thanks so much for your comments. I’m always open and happy to receive any positive vibes anyone cares to send! :) You probably already saw by now, but I answered the electricity question above on Ted’s comment.
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Nice. Hard not to wish there was a similar scale of foreclosure and empty housing in the UK… except that, obviously, lots of other people would have to suffer for that to be the case.
Did you see this? Lots of good ideas on ‘local heating’ the person, not the house: http://www.richsoil.com/electric-heat.jsp
Good for you,the stress of making money almost killed me.
I am retired now and love it.
No more of my taxes going to buy bombs.
I am out of debt and own a small house built in 1958.
Presently fixing it up,and waiting for the Zombie attack.
I lived in my van for a couple of years in the late 80s and it was really fun and freeing.
Right now I live in a little cabin on a mountain with my girlfriend, we split $450 a month rent and have two huge garden spaces and a panaramic view of Mendocino county. I do custom high-end creative metalwork for money.
I feel that gardening/natural farming ala Masanobu Fukuoka is something I want to focus on.
I have toyed with the idea of homesteading in Detroit but I prefer warmer climate. I’m considering leaving the US for a different country, where I hopefully could be less regulated. I also like the idea of living in a squat like you.
May I reccommend an interesting book? It’s called A Different Kind of Luxury. It is about the lifestyles of eleven people in Japan who all live rurally, grow a lot of their own food, and pursue creative work as well. I found it most inspiring. You can read a lot of exerpts free on the author’s blog.
Nice post, thanks Paula!
That you, Ted? It’s me, casemeau.
Hey Casey, that’s cool what have you been up to?
Still living in a van down by the river? Since I talked to you last I hitch hiked across Alaska and the Yukon.
Ted
Man this post pretty much sums up where I am at right now. The best two years of my life were living in an abandoned house pulling food and everything I needed out of skips and rubbish bins. I too didn’t move much stuff in for fear of being quickly evicted, I soon found how little I actually wanted or needed. I also got used to the cold, a few more blankets at night and dressing warmly during the day took care of most of it.
Anyway its only when you look back on it that you are really able to judge which activities really make you happy. A regular job and decent wage have never marked the periods of my life which I have enjoyed the most.
Inspiring post!
I have a very “responsible” job, which I utterly hate. Well, no I don’t hate it, but the impossible extraneous demands sap so much of my strength that I have very little left for the parts I like, ostensibly the stuff that should be of most value to the organization for which I work. The main thing that keeps me on this treadmill is figuring out how I would find housing for me and my two dogs. The fact that you can squat with your dog and have a tolerable life (if a tad chilly) gives me hope!
Depending where you live and what kind of dogs you have, I’d think it might even be EASIER to find a squat with two dogs. My dog is a big black German Shepherd, full breed so he really is fierce looking, and I probably wouldn’t be able to have him at all in a regular rental place.
Mind if I ask where you live?
Oregon, within 90 minutes of Portland….
I’m renting right now, and it was difficult enough to find a place that would take dogs. Not quite ready to jump ship just yet, but perhaps in a year or two..
After two years in a small Mexican fishing village, it’s amazing how much living with nearly-nothing teaches you about the things you *don’t* need. I hear you on the things considered most tragic being the biggest blessings – very few people understand that my fiance and I share one simple cellphone not because we can’t afford a better/pricier/second phone, but that we LIKE not being always reachable and we actively chose to not acquire a second phone. Ditto for sharing a drafty, crappy old farmhouse with 10 people, 8 goats, and chickens – yeah, there’s a 5:1 person-to-bathroom ratio, but we’ve got an outdoor composting toilet backup and solar shower for summer, there’s always someone around to talk to, the fire never goes out for lack of someone to mind it, big yard projects get done a LOT faster with all hands on deck, and even with only two regular incomes out of 10 people no one has ever missed rent, gone hungry, or had to choose between gas to work and an asthma inhaler.
We’ve been living on $1000 a month for two people – with 40% going to rent – for the last six months, in one of the most expensive cities in the US (Seattle). It can be done!
Hey casey here is my most recent incarnation of a blog if you are intertsted. Actually I started it 5 years ago and recently resurected it.
http://mindsoup11.blogspot.com