I spent this week traipsing back and forth across Pennsylvania, literally the whole width of the state. My Grandpa died over the weekend, so I had a funeral to attend in Delaware Water Gap, which is on the New Jersey border. The next day I had a very long meeting in Williamsport. As home base for all the driving around I was in State College. For all the driving, I could have made it clear back to Portland.
I finally made it back to the squat Thursday night around 10:30 – 11:00 or so. I crashed by around 1:00 am and slept almost straight thru until 1:00 pm today. I had the worst time dragging my ass out of bed to go get Zeke from the kennel, and after I got him squared away I was so tired I went back to sleep around 3:00 pm, and slept again straight thru until about 8:00 pm.
When I did finally wake up I was so tired I could hardly think or function. I figured I needed food but I was way too tired to cook anything so I went to Subway — a huge no-no in my extrication efforts — and then, even worse, I broke down and bought a pack of smokes after not having smoked in over a month.
I hit a crash-and-burn energy wall today. I just simply ran out of energy for anything, even just to maintain what I already had going. The driving, the funeral, the meeting, being separated from my dog, sadness over my Grandpa, all of it beat me right the fuck down.
I was tempted to beat myself up over crashing so hard & being so undisciplined, but I’m not doing that. Instead I decided to try to learn something from it and I came up with the idea of ”personal energy distribution.” And so I fired up Illustrator and sketched out my own personal energy distribution.
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